It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
