Old men and throwing up are my life now.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
