my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
