who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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