We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
