I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she peed on how many people?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize