as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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