It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
