so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
