I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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