and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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