I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
