so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I looked at my own cervix.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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