booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
