a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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