the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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