i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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