Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
