Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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