"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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