sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
