Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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