that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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