my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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