thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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