we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My ass is underappreciated
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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