I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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