I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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