does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I don't think brook has ever known best
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
