Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize