And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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