Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
