maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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