we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
