I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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