My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize