You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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