ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
