its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
