It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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