But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It was confusing and full of hummus
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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