You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
