why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
