yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
