great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
