Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
