i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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