Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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