he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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