No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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