There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
