i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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