so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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