Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
