you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
