he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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