You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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