Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I accidentally had phone sex last night
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
