hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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