we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She told me I should be a condom model.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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