i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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