the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
