Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
