WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
