i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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